‘I just want to be me’: What it’s like living with gender dysphoria
People diagnosed with gender dysphoria often seek to live in ways that reflect their identity, including changes in appearance, pronouns and social behaviour.
No person should ever be denied the opportunity to fully understand, express and embrace their identity.
A person’s gender identity unfolds gradually, shaped by experiences, emotions and self-reflection. Just as no two people are exactly the same, neither are their journeys in understanding who they truly are.
By the time children are two or three years old, they start becoming aware of their gender. It’s natural for them to explore by trying different clothes, playing with a mix of toys and stepping into different social roles.
This experience is different for everyone. Some may go through a phase of questioning before settling into an identity that feels right for them. Others may find that these feelings persist and grow stronger over time.
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What is gender dysphoria?
When this sense of incongruence leads to significant and ongoing distress, it’s known as gender dysphoria.
Gender dysphoria is more than just about discomfort in one’s body. It is a recognised psychological condition where a person experiences a deep disconnect between their assigned sex and their gender identity. This distress must be substantial enough to impact daily life to meet diagnostic criteria.
People diagnosed with gender dysphoria often seek to live in ways that reflect their identity, including changes in appearance, pronouns and social behaviour.
It’s a reality playing out in homes, schools and workplaces everywhere.
- A 13-year-old stares into the mirror, struggling to recognise the person looking back.
- A parent watches their child wrestle with an identity they don’t fully understand, wanting to be supportive but not knowing where to start.
- A teacher notices a student withdrawing but is unsure how to help.
- A person wants to ask their friend to refer to them using a different name but is unsure how to broach the subject.
Thoughtful, individualised care for people with gender dysphoria
As awareness of gender diversity grows, so does the need for accessible and compassionate mental health support for those experiencing gender dysphoria. Everyone deserves care that is respectful, evidence-based and tailored to each person’s specific needs and preference.
Prevalence and visibility
Recent estimates indicate that 4.5% of Australians aged 16 and over identify as LGBTI+, with 0.9% identifying as trans and gender diverse, encompassing trans men, trans women and non-binary individuals.
Similarly, New Zealand’s 2023 Census revealed that approximately 4.9% of adults belong to the LGBTIQ+ community, including those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, intersex or have other minority genders or sexual identities.
This increased visibility has sparked a range of perspectives. Some people view gender dysphoria diagnosis as progress towards inclusivity, while others express concerns about medical interventions being introduced especially when the person is young.
Approaches to care
Currently, the dominant approach to treating gender dysphoria in young people is gender-affirming care, which may include:
- Social transition (changing names, pronouns or appearance)
- Puberty blockers to pause physical development
- Hormone therapy for gender alignment
- Surgical interventions in some cases
This highlights the importance of starting with mental healthcare as a crucial step in helping more people with gender dysphoria make sense of their feelings and emotions and enable them to make informed decisions about their future.
The mental health gap we’re ignoring
At Leora Healthcare, we see firsthand how gender dysphoria often intersects with anxiety, depression, trauma and neurodiversity. Many young people questioning their gender identity are also dealing with bullying, body image struggles, social isolation or past trauma, challenges that can significantly impact their overall wellbeing.
What we really need is a holistic, long-term mental healthcare. Support that isn’t rushed and doesn’t push individuals in one direction or another but instead helps them fully understand themselves. The focus should always be on care, whether mental, emotional, and, where appropriate, medical.
Mental health resources and the Leora Healthcare EAP
If you or someone you know is having a hard time dealing with gender dysphoria or other mental health challenges, please know that there are resources available for you
Australia
- Beyond Blue – Support for anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention. Call 1300 22 4636 or visit beyondblue.org.au.
- headspace – Mental health support for young people aged 12–25. Access services at headspace.org.au.
- Lifeline AU – 24-hour crisis support. Call 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au.
- QLife – Free, anonymous LGBTIQA+ peer support and referral services. Call 1800 184 527 or visit qlife.org.au.
- Rainbow Door – Specialist helpline for LGBTIQA+ support. Call 1800 729 367, text 0480 017 246, or visit rainbowdoor.org.au.
New Zealand
- Lifeline NZ – 24-hour crisis support. Call 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP).
- Youthline – Support for young people. Call 0800 376 633, free text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz or access online chat at youthline.co.nz.
- Suicide Crisis Helpline – 24-hour suicide prevention service. Call 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO).
- OUTLine NZ – Free, confidential support for LGBTQIA+ individuals. Call 0800 OUTLINE (0800 688 5463) or visit outline.org.nz.
- RainbowYOUTH – Education, advocacy and support for gender-diverse young people. Visit ry.org.nz.
At Leora Healthcare, we understand the importance of accessible, professional mental health support. Our Employee Assistance Program (EAP) offers compassionate and high-quality mental health support to people experiencing workplace challenges, personal issues or concerns about supporting a loved one with gender dysphoria.
Learn more about the Leora mental health EAP services here.